You run into the bathroom and quickly happen to glance in the mirror. You cringe. Your greasy messy bun is topping your stained and puked on pajamas. Some new pimple friends are angrily staring back at you. You quickly pee while holding your newborn and calming your toddler down. You haven’t eaten or slept in how long? You can’t remember, man…. postpartum depression with a toddler sucks!
Every day turns into an act of survival, every morning you wake up and dread the day before you. However, when you look into the eyes of your sleeping baby all you feel is love… and then the exhaustion, hunger, and craving for some relaxing hits.
That is reality.
But it doesn’t have to be.
What if I told you that YOU have the POWER to CHANGE this? Would you believe me? Well, I hope you do, because I have some super-duper helpful tips for helping you deal with postpartum depression with a toddler.
I NEVER imagined that having 2 under would be so difficult, and it could be the trigger for my postpartum depression. Trying to manage a newborn and a toddler is more than any mom can take.
But like everything, this is just a season in life, and soon you will look back and wonder how you made it through these tough times.
While going through these hard times I learned many things that would ultimately help me stay sane and help fight my postpartum depression before it got the upper hand, and I can help you too.
Here are some of the game-changing, life-altering things I did to make this season of life not so horrible.
Talk About It
I know this sounds cliché, but I want you to know just how critically important this is.
My husband was always the one person I could go to when things got tough, and he was the person I went to when I felt down and like a terrible mom.
Even though he could not relate or give me tips, he was THERE. And that’s what mattered. He listened and gave me a hug when I needed one and was the reason I was able to stay afloat during these times.
My once so immaculate clean and tidy husband did not complain about the dirty laundry, the scattered toys, or even the constant fast food, and boy was I thankful.
However, I realize not everyone can talk to their husbands about this, whether your husband has a different character, works all day, or you simply don’t want to talk to him, that’s okay. Or maybe you are a single mom raising your child all by yourself.
Find someone in your life that can listen to you, to hear you vent and sympathize with you. Whether it’s your mom, sister, cousin, friend, or even a doula, having that someone to talk with will help you work out your problems before they manage to grab control.
This is why I offer you the chance to meet and talk to me. So you can feel heard, understood, supported, and helped. If you would ever like to talk, reach out, make an appointment, and let me guide you to the path of healing.
I grew up with the Russian German mentality of “do everything yourself”, and that’s how I lived. Until the postpartum depression with a toddler phase in my life.
Then I learned to go against every bone in my body and say “yes” to someone doing my laundry. To say “yes” when my husband offers to go get food even though we were poor, to say “yes” when someone asked if they could take my toddler for the day.
Try it out. Say “YES”.
And if you feel guilty, like me, for saying yes, just make sure to pay them back someday by helping them in their times of need.
Mac and Cheese is Okay!
I know you are wanting to be the best momma in the world and giving your toddler nutritionally balanced meals every day like those moms on YouTube or Pinterest. But that is simply not reality.
So, take those wrong impressions and throw them into the dump. Because some days, mac and cheese for dinner is okay, eating chips on the couch is okay, and running around in dirty pajamas for two days in a row is okay!
You are surviving right now, and that is all that matters.
So, keep eating those McDonald’s fries mama bear!
Tell yourself “This is Temporary”
The exhaustion, the hunger, the smelling like sweat, is temporary.
The helping guide your toddler through a temper tantrum while your newborn demands to be fed, is temporary.
The not showering and ordering fast food like 7 times a week, is temporary.
All these moments in life are temporary. And that is what you need to tell yourself. You will not be sleeping for only 30 minutes at a time for the rest of your life. You will manage to lose the baby weight once baby is older. All the things you are going through are temporary, so keep that in mind.
This was my mantra throughout the hard times. You will recover, you will heal. These hard times are not forever, they are temporary.
So, whenever you are having a hard time, just tell yourself these 3 words over and over again.
Get Help for Postpartum Depression
If you are experiencing postpartum depression, getting help is crucial. Postpartum depression is serious. It is an illness that can have serious repercussions if not treated.
If you suspect or know that you have postpartum depression, trying to heal on your own or bottling it up won’t help. In fact, it will make things worse.
So make sure to get the help you need to fully heal and recover, trust me, it will be worth it.
Not able to get out of the house with your toddler?
There are tons of online resources to help you deal with postpartum depression, as well as our own counselling services to help you overcome your illness.
Here are some resources you might want to consider:
A Word of Encouragement
With this post, I wanted to let you know that this hard time in your life shall pass. And you will look back and BE PROUD of what you have overcome.
Postpartum depression is not easy, it is not fair. It’s an illness that can take hold of you and rob you of all the joy and happiness you have once felt.
But the good thing about postpartum depression? It is curable. Over 80% of women with postpartum depression will be cured and healed. So, you can get help and recover too. All you must do is ask.
YOU are WORTHY
YOU are NOT ALONE
YOU are DESERVING
THIS is TEMPORARY
I hope this gave you some encouragement and helpful tips on dealing with postpartum depression with a toddler.
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Until next time,